Lyndsay Faye and the Wonderful, Terrifying, Very Good, Very Long Tour

Hello to all from one nation, ten states, and fifteen separate JANE STEELE events!  It looked like this:

NYC (Mysterious Bookshop), DC (One More Page), Minneapolis (Club Book at Ridgedale Library), Houston (Murder by the Book), Scottsdale (Poisoned Pen), Los Angeles (Vroman's), Corte Madera (Book Passage), Pleasanton (Towne Center Books), Alameda (Books Inc), Portland (Powell's), Denver (Tattered Cover), Chicago (Anderson's), Bryn Mawr (Main Point Books), East Meadow (East Meadow Public Library), Queens (Astoria Bookshop).


So I wanted to update everyone on the amazing frothy sauce that was the JANE STEELE book tour.  I know not everyone who wanted to make it made it, but plenty of folks did pay me a call, and as Rowan Atkinson playing Satan greeting everyone to hell says when he glimpses the line of fornicators, "God God there are a lot of you."

Thank you all.  Thank you, and thank you, and thank you again. Truly.

This is going to be kinda free form.  Some of you know I had a serious head injury as a child, and thus my mind works in mysterious ways (aka like a bag of squirrels on an ether binge), so it's almost impossible for me to record/remember book events when I'm in the moment and trying to weave an answer out of two questionable comments and a half-question (following such mental acrobatics, I generally have NO IDEA what I just said).  But lo and behold, I tried very hard to do proper social media duties throughout the whole tour, and images make for great memory triggers, so YAY Instagram!  (Totally serious--if you want to see pretty much the whole tour, head over there and follow me @lyndsayfaye.)

First off, I can't think of an event where there were less than 15-20 people there, often a great many more.  You people, I swear, and your kind, kind faces.  The attendance was massively flattering, especially in A WORLD WHERE (insert movie promo voice) I, like you, would just as soon be catching up on The Walking Dead.  For instance, at the Corte Madera lunch there must have been forty or more, and at East Meadow the librarians counted sixty.  People were gracious, and learned, and funny, and I was so grateful for the elderly gentleman who suggested that next time I tour with Dick Van Dyke, because he's a Dick Van Dyke enthusiast.  I'm trying to make that happen, people.

Some will notice that I did a bunch of events "in conversation" this time around.  I'll tell you why, and you tell me if it worked for you.  The "being interviewed" format flowed really really well for me, because it doesn't feel as much like public speaking--people say, "But you were an actress!  Of course you're not afraid up there, you're trained!"  Acting is not public speaking, acting is acting.  Public speaking makes my vision fuzzy and the back of my throat throw punches at my teeth Trump rally style, same as everyone.  Anyway, it's difficult for me to imagine anyone wants to hear about my imaginary friends for half an hour.  So if anyone was wondering about that, it was totes intentional and my body is ready for feedback.

In LA, I went to Studio City and met with the amazing folks who have optioned the JANE STEELE film rights!  I was intimidated by the meeting with 1492, but I shouldn't have been, because they basically talked to me about storytelling for two hours.  They were lovely.  And thankfully, I can't shut up about storytelling to save my life already, so it was basically along the lines of them asking me to cook lunch.  I got this.  I got this SO HARD.

For some reason unknown to science, bookstores and strangers showered me with gifts.  What were you doing, incredibly generous kittens, toting all this mind-blowing swag??? I have, to name a few items, a metal bookmark embossed with my name and JANE STEELE, a set of personalized stationery, a painting of the Bay Area, murder-themed cupcakes, bee earrings, a 24-karat gold facial mask, an absinthe spoon shaped like a skull, and a cardboard standup of Charlotte Bronte.  Why these gift showers occurred, I do not know, but I thank everyone effusively.  Please deduct these items from your taxes because authors are totally charitable causes.

Night of Tattered Cover, I started feeling off, had an early flight to Chicago, and was sick as a hobo possum by the time I got there.  At least I carry cold meds with me on these things so I don't have to stop for them, and I tried to remedy what Jon Stewart used to call "the bubons" at the airport: no dice.  All I can say about the Anderson's reading is that I did my best having gone straight to the event, and then my friends deposited me in bed and I didn't leave the hotel again except once for chicken soup, being flat on my back with an epic airplane virus.

What the hell, Airplane Air.  What.  The. Bloody. Hell.

I'm thankful for the extra day in the Windy City and the fact my friends wouldn't leave me and kept bringing me bananas and Throat Coat and doing ridiculously kind things like washing my laundry (dear GOD, people), but I'd have liked to do better by Anderson's and thus I am telling you all so.  The 40 or so hours of sleep paid off, however, because by the time my publicist met me and poured me into another bed in Philly, I knew I could pull it together, and I think Bryn Mawr went well (I hope).  So...14/15 ain't bad?  I'm really sorry though, folks.  These schedules are gruesome, but I'll do better next time.

*shakes fist at Airplane Air*

When I got back to NYC, it was bed again until my MWA panelist appearance Wednesday and the two local events.  Those were hard but went absolutely swimmingly.  I'd plied myself with plenty of hot and sour soup by then. I seriously must have eaten all the hot and sour in Queens.  I was swimming in the stuff.  I was submerged.  There were mushrooms in my eyebrows.  (If you don't feel like picturing that, no problem, but it's my cure, peeps.)

FRESH NEWS: I plan sometime this week, whenever the weather is best (probably Wednesday), to do my Manhattan Mini Tour, because I haven't been able to yet!  This is where I walk all over the city visiting the brick and mortar B&Ns, The Strand, McNally Jackson, Everywhere Else.  Usually I have a solid number of stops, and since I'm planning for sun and not a specific day, I'll definitely hit the UWS and UES as well as my downtown cluster (with no more Shakespeare & Co--sadness).  In fact, I've never mapped it out before, but since I still have the mental capacity of a Cheeto, I might.  And I always live tweet this, so people can follow along and know where to find the signed books.  Expect plenty of Instagrams as well.

Again, I just want to thank everyone so so so so very much.  You are rock and roll gods and goddesses, and I clasp you to my bosom.  What a mind-blowing two weeks.

Hugs from the recovering hobo possum,